Dear Darcy: Father learns daughter is not biological child.
Dear Darcy,
About five years ago, I learned through DNA testing that my youngest daughter is not my biological child.
My wife and I have since divorced, which was rather traumatic for all of us, and our children are now grown adults.
Should I tell my daughter that I am not her biological father or let it go?
- Still her dad
Dear Still her dad,
Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this dilemma.
Your daughter deserves the right to know whose DNA she shares for medical and health reasons, and she also has the right to decide if she wants to pursue a relationship with that man.
Perhaps the gentlest approach would be for you and her mother to sit down with your daughter and share the information.
Begin the hard conversation by reassuring her that she is loved and cherished. Tell her that she is and always will be your daughter.
She will need reassurance, patience and extreme compassion to navigate these waters.
Close quarters in dorm room make sleeping uncomfortable.
Dear Darcy,
I am a college student and share a dorm room on campus with a roommate.
We get along very well and have become close since the start of the semester, but I have a really big problem: Her boyfriend sleeps over several times a week.
This is uncomfortable because it leaves me very little privacy, but what’s worse is that their night time shenanigans are pretty loud (if you know what I mean).
I’ve tried to tell her that his presence at night makes me uncomfortable, but she chooses to ignore it.
Help! I need a decent night’s sleep and want this to stop without damaging our friendship.
What should I do?
- Exhausted
Dear Exhausted,
Call this what it is: Selfish, rude and pretty icky.
No true friend would ever put you in this type of situation, so don't go to great lengths to save the friendship.
Be blunt and tell her to knock it off.
If that doesn't work, ask a dorm leader, perhaps a resident advisor, for help; as in, move you to another room.
As a new college student, you deserve privacy, rest and respect. You are getting none of those.
Until this is resolved, invest in a good pair of ear plugs and an eye mask.
