A strict no-carb diet is underfoot in the VB household. Here’s how the first week went.

I have no idea who this woman is, but I hope that scale is being nice to her.

By SARA VANDEN BERGE

Turning 50 has been rough.

My once fairly speedy metabolism seems to have hit the skids and those extra pounds I had always managed to keep at bay have been slowly appearing on my hips.

After back-to-back weekends in Austin and Fort Worth where I pretty much ate my way through each city, I stepped on the scale last weekend, then fell onto the fainting couch.

Things had gotten bad, you guys.

So I stomped into the living room and announced that a diet – a strict one – was underfoot in the VB household.

I snatched the bag of chips The Husband was crunching on straight from his hands and chucked it into the trash can.

Carbs in our house, I told him, are a thing of the past.

SERIOUSLY, WE ARE DOING KETO.

Probably like you, I have been eyeing the keto diet for years. The success stories are all over the place, but I just couldn’t imagine giving up pasta and chips and salsa.

But desperate times call for desperate measures and it was time to shake up this old metabolism.

Steak and sour cream, here we come!

BELL PEPPER SANDWICHES REALLY ARE A THING.

There is no shortage of keto recipes online and I’m pretty sure I have downloaded just about every one of them.

We have eaten bacon and eggs, “sandwiches” using sliced bell peppers as bread, salad, mashed cauliflower and every kind of meat known to man.

And did I mention eggs?

We have eaten so many eggs, that this morning I woke myself up clucking.

I even learned how to make a chaffle. (Google it.)

Um...this isn't me either. Just a little inspiration.

STEPPING ON THAT SCALE

The hunger pains aren’t as awful as I thought they would be.

When the stomach growls, I grab a few nuts, slice of cheese or handful of spicy pork rinds (those have zero carbs and are strangely delicious. I had no idea).

But here is the best part: I lost 6.4 pounds in the first week!

With a cold snap in the forecast, I’ll be firing up the crockpot with a cheesy, low carb taco soup and a chicken popper casserole.

Stay tuned for Diary of a Diet Week 2 coming next Sunday!