Common sense and a dizzying display of outrage; it’s all in a day’s work.

The new Karen.

By SARA VANDEN BERGE (aka Karen)

Allow me to introduce myself.

I’m Karen; one of those frumpy, judgmental, uptight types who think sex is for procreation only and can make a mean tuna casserole in a jiffy.

I have also, in the past 24 hours, been pegged as one of those ultra conservative Christians whose glare of condemnation could make a sinner erupt into a ball of flames.

The new me is a stark contrast to my usual label that involves filthy ties to the liberal left-wing media and Mr. Potato Head.

Throw in the fact that I was born and raised in Southern California and I am practically a she-devil.

But not today.

Today, I’m Karen, a moniker I earned yesterday after publishing an opinion piece from a young woman (Chelsea Taylor) who was upset that a local restaurant blasted music she believes was inappropriate during Thursday’s dinner hour.

One of the songs was Cardi B’s WAP, and if you’ve never had the pleasure of hearing it first hand, here’s a little sample:

(To my fellow Karens reading this, now would be a good time to get back to vacuuming unless you want to take to the fainting couch.)

“I said, certified freak Seven days a week Wet-a** p***y Make that pull-out game weak, woo (ah)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you f****** with some wet-a** p***y Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-a** p***y Give me everything you got for this wet-a** p***y.

What followed was a dizzying display of outrage over Chelsea’s outrage over the outrageous situation. You still with me?

In other words, I’m still sifting through the dozens of emails I’ve received since yesterday that have renamed me Karen and questioned my journalistic integrity.

Most of the hate mail appears to have come from those I suspect still use daddy’s credit card and laugh at fart jokes, but a few have come from grownups who should know better.

And by “know better” I mean those who understand that this song doesn’t belong in a restaurant.

Fuzzy’s Taco Shop is not a bar (although they make a great margarita) and it’s not just a hangout for college kids.

Fuzzy’s is one of our favorite places to go on a sunny afternoon when a couple of fish tacos and cold margarita on the patio are in order.

It’s a place my three grown children (28, 26 and 23) enjoy going when they are in town and a place where I often take my 74-year-old mother.

And I can tell you, unequivocally, that all of us would be wildly uncomfortable with WAP blaring on surround sound while scarfing down our nachos.

Chelsea’s entire point was lost yesterday in the wake of the cancel culture hysteria and by those who struggle with staying on topic.

For those still confused, her point had nothing to do with masks, Trump, Biden, censorship, left, right, up or down.

Nor did it have anything to do with misogyny or racism, which in case you haven’t noticed are still alive and well, and linking it to those social issues diminishes their importance, so stop it.

And for those who claim WAP is about female empowerment, let’s be clear: I truly hope Cardi B’s sex life is banging (no pun intended) and I support artistic expression.

(Freedom of speech is sort of my jam.)

But when anyone sings about their sex life in graphic detail, I would prefer not to listen to it alongside my kids and Nana.

And if you think it’s appropriate to play at any restaurant where people of all ages gather for a good meal and a little fun, then you need to increase your daily dose of Ginkgo Biloba.

Because it’s not.

Chelsea was correct by calling the situation into question and I applaud her stance on what most of us believe is an issue of decency and common sense, which seem to be in short supply these days.

Now, I’m going to take a nap.

Being a Karen is exhausting.